Life as a bartender can get "interesting". Without being able to laugh at it, we'd go crazy. So, we've added a humorous page to the site. You can either laugh, or get cut off. Your choice.
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@BartenderWisdom: If you make a scribble motion, in the air because you want me to close your tab, I'm just gonna pretend, you are flicking a booger.
staci@blondstaci: Was gonna buy one of those fancy sports cars, but the cup holders, could barely fit my martini glass, much less a jar of olives #useless
@TerribleWaiter: Let me show you my daily special. #waiterpickuplines
Homer visits Times Square. Been there, did that....and never been to New York though........or have I??
Raise your hand if you're sober..
No, thats your foot!
Name withheld by request:
"I used to think of myself as a true professional bartender. Then I came down to earth, the day I went to work, and had to sell a dinner special as follows.......
A Giant-sized porn dog with fries.....$3.95
The Choke-your-chicken sandwich comes with homemade mac & cheese..............$4.95"
" When going through Hell, just keep going." WinstonChurchill
"Some people can feel the rain, others just get wet." Bob Dylan
Rule #1: When the customer says, "Pour it strong, and I'll tip ya FAT!"
Translation: Usually this means that the tip, will be enough, to go back and ring in a double. You don't get a tip, but you keep your job, and the customer thinks he's getting a deal.
If you enjoy "Bartender Rules" comments, check out our articles.
A baby seal walks into a bar:
Bartender: What can I get you?
Seal: Anything but a Canadian Club!
IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS
Service Industry Rejection Hotline
Telephone Sobriety Test
Give these numbers to flirty or drunken customers
When I finally build my own bar, I'm installing these.
"All I did was ask the girl, if she took my lighter."
Image found @
Give me a reason to laugh!! Did ya realize that married servers/waitstaff employees have the #13 occupation, ranked by most likely to get divorced, These people get divorced 27.1% of the time. What about bartenders? Married bartenders get divorced 38.4% of the time. We rank #2.....whooooooaaaa!!
Tony Oryall (bald bartender) and his wife Angel are celebrating 25 years of marriage May 30, 2012.
"...no caption needed here. Already provided."
Image found @ http://www.straitpinkie.com/girls/uh-yump/smokin-hot-bartenders-uh-yump/
Highlights from Twitter
@ImNotMez: Last night this guy goes to the bartender and says "Give me a brandy on the rocks without ice." My friends and I were floored.
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What happens when you take 2 similar alcohols, and put them head to head against each other?